The commuter Marriage by Tina B. Tessina

Author:Tina B. Tessina
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Adams Media, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Published: 2008-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

Expecting the Unexpected

Because life is always throwing new things at you, and because your situation is unusual enough that you might not be able to anticipate some of the issues that arise, you need to be prepared for dealing with the unexpected. For example, you and your partner may be surprised to realize how the commute changes your relationship with your children.

Handling Commuting Changes with Your Children

As a parent, when you commute, your role changes from being there and being in charge to a more equal position of friend and advisor. Treating your older children as friends will help make this transition smoother. Both parents will usually have less time to spend with the children than before, and other people, such as child-care workers, friends, or extended family, may be taking up the slack. Of course, young children need parents who are not reluctant to take charge and enforce rules and standards, but as a parent you can also treat them with kindness and respect, encouraging them to think for themselves.

When you’re dealing from a distance it becomes less possible to enforce rules and even more important to show solidarity with your stay-at-home partner about discipline and parenting. One of the great joys of parenthood is seeing a child grow into a responsible adult, and your commuting situation gives your children an opportunity to take more responsibility and become more autonomous.

GUIDELINES FOR COMMUTER PARENTS ’ TRANSITIONS

Away parent : Develop a separate relationship with each child. When you go away, it’s a big change, especially for your younger children, so make a special effort to contact them and reassure them that they’re still important to you and you’re still in their lives. You’ll be connecting with each child via e-mail, cell phones, IMing, or pictures and videos. Use the suggestions in Chapter 3 for ways to communicate, but make sure each of your children knows he or she is special to you. Remember from day to day what he or she is doing, and ask about it.

lucy & josh

Truck driver Josh found it easy to keep in touch with his sons by e-mail and phone while he was on the road. “I feel so much more connected with my boys, and I can support their mother when she’s trying to get them to do something, so it keeps Lucy and me connected too.”

Stay-at-home parent : Keep in mind that your children have probably lost some of your time too. Make sure the time you have with them is quality time, and spend as much as you can, especially while your spouse is away. When your spouse is at home, allow for time your partner can have alone with the children. It will help them reestablish their connection and give you some needed time off.

Lucy says, “I spend a lot of time running the boys around to practices, school, and other things in the car, so it’s a great time to catch up with them. Sometimes they’ll tell Josh something I don’t

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.